Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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