My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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