Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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