You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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