Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
