I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
