Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
