I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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