At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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