Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have tasted many bathrooms
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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