i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
