apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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