I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
