Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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