Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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