It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
