We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
