And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Shame is for Republicans.
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