Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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