dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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