Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
