that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
