I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
