its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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