Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
