Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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