if you like me you must not know who I am
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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