Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
