I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
