You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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