someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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