last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
