You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Your cock deserves a montage
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
