non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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