Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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