I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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