why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
