I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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