The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
