Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
