I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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