worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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