I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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