lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize