Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
