Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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