I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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