at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
