Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
