Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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