my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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